A few weeks ago, Christian Focus Publications provided me with a copy of Melissa B. Kruger’s recent book, The Envy of Eve: Finding Contentment in a Covetous World, giving me the opportunity to participate in the book’s Blog Tour. I am grateful for the opportunity and excited to share this excellent book with readers of A Wonderful Providence.
Melissa
Kruger serves as Women’s Ministry Coordinator at Uptown Church (PCA) in
Charlotte, North Carolina. Her book emerged from years of
daily Bible study and prayer stretching back to her teen years, and as I read
the book, it was easy to believe that her insights are the fruit of many years
spent steeped in the Word. The book also contains plenty of helpful quotations
from Reformed confessions and Puritan authors; it was refreshing to read an
author who has been formed by the best of her tradition and writes in
conversation with it.
The nucleus
for The Envy of Eve was Kruger’s recognition that gaining desired objects or
goals did not lead to contentment in her life—an experience she found echoed in the life of woman after woman she talked with. While she found plenty
of material written about the sin of idolatry, she observed that little has
been written about the covetous desires that lead to idolatry—or about the
unbelief that lies at the heart of covetousness. The goal of her book is to
help women put off covetous patterns in their lives and put on the contentment
that can only be found in Christ.
The first
part of the book, chapters 1–4, explores the nature of coveting. Kruger is
careful to explain that greatly desiring something is not the same as coveting.
Biblically, coveting is “an inordinate or culpable desire to possess, often
that which belongs to another” (24). It is a sin pattern of the heart, not a
set of outward circumstances. In fact, the root of coveting is unbelief in
God’s goodness and sovereignty: “Essentially, our coveting accuses God of a
failure to reign well over the events in our lives” (56). Coveting also reveals
false beliefs about our purpose—true fulfillment is only found in relationship with our heavenly Father, not through
our marriage, children, possessions, or job. Drawing on the examples of Eve in the
garden and Achan in the book of Joshua, Kruger outlines the pattern of coveting
she finds reflected in many biblical texts—the one who covets sees (the desired
object), covets (seeing becomes mixed with unbelief), takes
(from others and from God), and hides (often barring one from enjoying God’s
gifts or one's relationships with others). But once this sinful pattern is
recognized in our own lives, what can be done? Kruger beautifully shows how the cross of Christ gives power over the sin of coveting. The
pattern is not broken by willpower alone. It is only overcome when we cultivate
hunger for the pattern-breaker Himself. By His power living in us, we put on a
new pattern of belief to replace the sinful pattern of unbelief: we learn to
seek the Lord, desire rightly, give generously, and confess freely.
The second
half of the book (chapters 5–9) examines five areas in which women often
struggle with covetous desires, including money and possessions, romantic
relationships, and giftedness and abilities. Each chapter is grounded on a
biblical example and gives practical counsel on how to replace covetous
patterns with pursuit of the Lord. I found each of them to be wise, relatable, humbling,
and encouraging. However, I’d like to focus on two chapters in particular that
touched me deeply and which I hope will encourage you to
pick up Kruger’s book for yourself.
In Chapter
7, “Coveting within Family and Friendship,” Kruger focuses on relational
coveting, which can arise when we wrongly try to have our needs met and our
identities secured through relationships with family, friends, or mentors
instead of through Christ. She points out that women can so easily observe
relationships around them (something made easier through media like Facebook) and
believe that others are experiencing fullness of life while her own relationships
are mired in frustration (182)—“Many women are a bit of an Anne Shirley,
waiting and longing for a kindred spirit to come into her life and fill her
relationally.” I confess that in many ways, this has been the story of my life!
While there is nothing wrong with longing for the gift of intimate friendship,
the desire can turn idolatrous when it fosters discontentment, bitterness, and
covetousness. In addition, this “comparison game” is based
on an incomplete picture of others’ relationships and is preoccupied with what
we can gain from others instead of how we can serve them. It fails to account
for the effects of the Fall on every
human relationship, and the fact that relationship with the Lord alone—finding satisfaction
in Him and entrusting all of our other relationships to His provision—can truly
fulfill. “[A woman seeking Christ] is secure enough in her relationship with
Christ that she does not cling to the friendship, but rather treasures the
friend.” (192)
Drawing on
the story of the Israelites’ sojourn in the desert, Chapter 8, “Coveting
Seasons and Circumstances,” focuses on coveting life-stages different from
our own. This, too, resonated painfully with me, as I have daily envied stages
other than my own grad-student circumstances, imagining that if only I can get
what I want, I will find abiding joy and purpose. Kruger counsels, “Whenever we
are in a particular season [singleness, childlessness, motherhood, etc.], it is
always easy to see the benefits of another woman’s season of life, while
failing to consider or remember the struggles…Our coveting in this area
demonstrates how firmly we believe in the promises of this world” rather than
in the promises of God, who ordains every season in our lives toward the end of
making us more like His Son (206–207). Again, it is presumptuous to assume that
we see the full story of what God is weaving together in any person’s life. “When
we covet in these circumstantial events, we are trusting in our own definition
of goodness, rather than entrusting our lives to Him who works all things for
our good.” (208–209) When we covet in this way, we also tend to isolate
ourselves from friendship with women in other seasons of life, or to view them
as means of measuring God’s goodness to us instead of learning to love them
well. Contentment only comes when we believe and rest in God’s providential
control of every circumstance.
The goal of The Envy of Eve is not simply to reveal the sin in our hearts, but above all to
recognize our overwhelming need for Jesus Christ. Only by cultivating a deeper
affection for Him will we be able to let go of the vain promises of the world.
The wonderful achievement of Kruger’s book is that it truly makes one hunger
for time spent in Scripture, drinking deeply of God’s promises. I genuinely
looked forward to starting each chapter because, while Kruger pulls no punches
and drew me to repentance many times, she never left me wallowing in guilt: I
was repeatedly pointed to the victory of the Cross and reminded that pursuit of
Christ alone will transform my affections and bring contentment.
For that
reason, I happily recommend this book to my sisters in Christ. I believe you
will find it both humbling and deeply hopeful. I thank the Lord for the gifts
He has given Melissa Kruger, and I am grateful for Melissa’s willingness to use
them to build up the Church.
Edited to add: Check out my friend Coralie's review of the book by clicking here!
Edited to add: Check out my friend Coralie's review of the book by clicking here!
